Natalie's World


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The concept of The Beards is simple - A folk rock band that exclusively perform songs about just one subject: Beards. With a three-album back catalog of crowd favorites like If Your Dad Doesn't Have a Beard,You've Got Two Mums, You Should Consider Sex with a Bearded Man and No Beard, No Good, The Beards continue in their ceaseless journey to make the world a more beard-friendly place. Frontman vocalist Johann Beardraven talks about the band's creativeness.



1. What type of band are you?

Johann: We're called The Beards, and we are the world's premier beard-related rock band. We all have really good beards and we only perform songs about how good it is to have a beard. We like beards.

2. Tell us the brief history of your band.

Johann: When we started out, we didn't know how to write songs or play instruments - we were just 4 guys with beards sitting around talking about how good beards are. However, as our beards grew we found that we had suddenly become quite good at music, and we decided to apply our knowledge of beards to song. Our first song was called "Beard". It was about beards.

3. Who are your musical and non-musical influences?

Musically, we're quite fond of ZZ Top, Cat Stevens, Seasick Steve - basically anyone with a decent beard (Craig David doesn't count). We are also big fans of Chuck Norris and Gandalf the Grey, who has a marginally better beard than Gandalf the White.

4. What are your dreams and goals?

Johann: Our goal from day one has been to convince every living person to grow and keep a beard, including women and children. It's a thankless task but slowly we are working our way toward a completely bearded world. Did you see how many guys had beards at The Oscars recently? That was because of us.

5. Who writes the songs, what are they about?

Johann: Our songs are about beards. Let me say at this point that we don't really care about songs or music - only beards. Music is merely the vehicle with which we spread our bearded propaganda. We all have quite good beards and during a typical songwriting session, we generally just let the beards guide us.

6. What have you released so far and how were your releases received by the public/media?

Johann: We have released 3 albums so far - our self-titled debut, our follow-up release Beards Beards Beards, and our latest album that is probably the best album that we (or anybody else) have ever made, Having a Beard is the New Not Having a Beard. All our albums have been hailed by the bearded sections of the community as "ground-breaking" and "life-changing", and dismissed by the beardless as "novelty".  We don't care what the beardless say about us though. Seriously guys, grow a damn beard. Then we'll talk.

7. What inspires you to do what you do?

Johann: The biggest inspiration we get is when we meet someone at a show who promises to never shave again, and then the next time we travel to that town, we see that same person and they have grown a healthy beard. There's nothing better than that. Also when I see someone give some money to a bearded homeless guy, that makes me feel quite inspired.

8. What advice would you give to fellow bands?

Johann: Grow beards. That's the most important thing in music. Also, you should all write more songs about how great it is to have a beard. We seem to be the only ones doing that for some reason.

9. How does music affect you and the world around you?

Johann: Music in general makes me very upset. There's too many beardless popstars and clean-shaven hip-hop guys knocking about these days. It makes me sick. Also there's too many people singing about stuff like love and their own political agendas. We all need to focus on what's really important: Beards.

10. What are the biggest obstacles for bands?

Johann: I'm not sure about other bands, but our biggest hurdle has definitely been resistance from the non-bearded factions. There's so many beardless role models out there (sports stars, politicians etc) so our job is to change attitudes, as well as faces.

11. What plans do you have for the near future as a band?

Johann: We're planning to grow our beards a bit longer and thicker. Also, since we've successfully convinced every person in our home country of Australia to grow a beard, we'll be spreading our bearded message overseas this year, with tours of the US and Europe. It's always good to find new people to sing about beards to.

12. Anything else you'd like to say or add?

Johann: Please grow a beard. That's it.