Articles by "A Band Of Orcs"


The orcs are back! A Band Of Orcs that is with an all new EP release "March of the Gore​-​Stained Axe Tribe". The next chapter in the Mythos of A Band Of Orcs has begun and will continue to devour the human race as we only know it! Bassist Gronk! The "Shaman" of A Band of Orcs. His name translates to ‘the-rumbling-sound-of-earth-quake-that-precedes-the-volcano-eruption’  Also seems to be the most capable with English, is the one behind this discussion of their EP and future plans.


1. It's been 4 years since we last spoke, so what has the band been up too since then?

Gronk!: Hail Natalie, since last usses spoke few things have come to pass, but those few things of great significance.  Usses put out critically acclaimed concept album “Adding Heads to the Pile in 2012;” then usses go on Madness at the Core of Time Tour with Gwar, Whitechapel, and Iron Reagan in U.S, fall 2013.  While on tour usses have first battle casualty toward end.  Hulg, the zombie orc, die final death, death – meaning no sorcery can reanimate his corpse.  Usses think maybe Beefcake kill him, or, mayhap Oderus.  In 2014 while in our homerealm Gogog beheld the Yellow Sign, which always inevitably followed by madness.  Now him chase ghosts and demons on blasted doomscape of Hirntodia.  But now, usses come back in 2015 with slightly changed battle formation and demo of new sound of magick called metal, “March of the Gore-Stained Axe Tribe.” Now, me Gronk! do high scream vocals and no more play bass (though me did on demo); Cretos do low growels and cruncy guitars by hims self, Oog still smash wardrums, and have new to humans orc named Srig Foehammer, him now play bass instead of Me.

2. Can you give those of us who aren?t familiar with A Band of Orcs a brief history of the band and can you please describe your sound for those who have yet to hear your music?

Gronk!: Usses summoned here one accident when tribe of human childresn play D&D.  They roll on “Random Encounter Table” A Band of Orcs.  Gruesom Grimp traveling Chaos pundit, part gremlin, part imp think it funny to summon thingy rolled on Random Encounter Table.  Usses just finish one battle in Hirntodia when usses disappear from there to appear here in Earthrealm.  Very disorienting.  Usses react with kill D&D players then hear strangly hellish hauntingly beautiful sound.  Usses run upstairs of tower and find Jed jamming to Slayer, the sound of “Raining Blood.”  We offer him deal: him spared if teach us how to make metal.  This was done; he still spared.  Then usses become metal band in addition of warband. Metal. Usses sound Metal. Blackened, death, thrash metal, hahahhaha!!!  Whatever.  Brutal Orc Metal.  Hirntodian Folk Metal.

3. What does "March of the Gore?-?Stained Axe Tribe" mean to you all?

Gronk! It is a warning flair of the savagery to come in 2016.  It actually translation of one small part of “Chata Urklud Cruaksi” one traditional march-chant of the tribe.  In original form it have hundreds of verses to keep orc tribe focused on long, long march to war and diverges for tales of heroes from Tribe’s past.  In this version, we chant only one heroic tale of the Agromegh, Grendel, founder of usses tribe.

4. Is it important for you to paint visual pictures with the songs?

Gronk!: Never really thought that.  Only thing important is find right word to fit meaning of song.  Sometimes paint picture.  Sometimes evoke emotion.  Sometimes cast spell.  It all depend.

5. What would be the cinematic equivalent of "March of the Gore?-?Stained Axe Tribe"?

Gronk!: There is none.  We have not this illusion box sorcery in Hirntodia, though there are other types.  Not really have permanence like illusion sorcery here.

6. How does the album art relate to the music on the EP?

Gronk!: It show usses and our Tribe ready to March from the cave depths of our home.  Usses mention in song how invaders came to take our caves and steal gold for gild their cities.

7. What's your favorite song on the EP right now?

Gronk!: All of them…haha!!!  But me guess special place in blackened soul for “Chata Urklud Cruaksi” cuz it in our language and all contribute a part musically, improvise as want over Oog’s beat.  It total beautiful Chaos!!!

8. What compels you to keep doing what you do?

Gronk!: The Will to Awaken Gzoroth in each of youse – Hail Gzoroth!!!!

9. What is in the future for Ancient Bards?

Gronk!: Well, youse human monotheistic establishments have done them’s bestest to exterminate Ancient Bards of all leudhi (translation: people), but them not succeed with usses and it clear from all Folk Metal and Viking Metal and such-such that assaulted peoples of Earhtrealm continue to fight. So me thinks ancient bards continue to tell tales of them’s peoples and homelandds for bring back the Polython and help awaken the Dragon in usses all.  Hail Gzoroth!!  Hail Eris!!!

10. What else is there to say to all of the fans that are out there?

Gronk!: Hail fans!!!  Usses honor all support you give usses, through all the battles and casualties and though usses deal with duties in Hirntodia and that makes usses slow in Earthrealm.  But ussses return in early 2016 Suncyle with new album by new battle formation of WarChiefs…Hail Gzoroth!!!!  You are spared!  Hail Natalie!!!


Hailing from the realm of Hirntodia, A Band Of Orcs live day by day eatting your brains and crushing out your skulls. Though by nightfall it's a whole another tale that has yet to be told. Thus through the eyes of the Orcs who claim to play brutally through the sounds of music, do quite thoroghly with the release of their debut EP "WarChiefs Of The Apocalypse", which shall dominate our own realm drawing the apocalypse just ever so nearer. The Orcs tell all from a realm of their own known as the one they call home.

1. So what planet are you guys from? Is it in a galaxy far far away?

Cretos Filthgrinder: What “planet”? *scratches head.*

Hulg ElfRIPper: Planet big spinning rock stuck in void of existence. Insects like humans live on, crawl on, make larvae on and keep rooting on top of rock.

Gronk!: It like egg in womb of mother chaos.

Cretos: Oh.

Gogog Bloodthroat: We not from “planet,” we hail from realm of Hirntodia.

Gronk!: Yesssss…very far, far away.  Need travel by wyrm hole

Hulg:  Asshole

Gronk!: -or Maelstrom, and them hard to find, so us make giant maelstromwith circle pits at metal shows; bring rest of Gore-Stained Axe to conquer you spinning rock realm.

2. Are Gwar your next door neighbors on your planet?

Hulg: No.  Is them you next door neighbors in you planet?

Gogog: Kingdom of Clarr, used to be neighbors, on other side of hills from ancestral hunting ground, but  us kill them and take them land.  Burn it to husk, drink their ale, laugh as all women and children slain, tortured screams music to Gogog's axe.  And now us need more land, more kingdoms to conquer, more music of the tortured souls, cuz us broke all the kingdoms us conquer.  Yours next!

3. Where does a name like A Band Of Orcs come from and who are "The Orcs"?

Cretos: Us orcs. Us in band.  Where name like [Natalie] come from?

Gronk!: Manager Gruesom Grimp give us name when him summon us for kill human spawn playing Dungeons and Dragons.  Him said, kids roll some polyhe-…he…he…thingy on ‘Random Encounter Table.’ Gronk! not know, but orcs here now.

Hulg: Heeeeeedron.

Gronk!: Huh?

Hulg: Polyheeeeeedron, Gronk! too numb head to say humanz roll “polyheeeeedron.”

Gogog: ‘The Orcs’ am us – I, Gogog; him, Cretos; him, Hulg; him, Gronk! And Oog.  We’re the Gore-Stained Axe Tribe.  We bring Domination.  You die…or maybe us spare you cuz you write propORCanda, ahahhahahahhaha!


 4. What about your EP "WarChiefs Of The Apocalypse", what does the title symbolize?

Gronk!: Jed and Grimp say we say, ‘Domination,’ as foretold in Canticles of Gzoroth, and you humans hear ‘Apocalypse,’ so us bringers of Domination, but translate to human-speak and it called ‘Apocalypse.’

Cretos: That us, us “WarChiefs of the Apocalypse.”  Us bring Domination, but we spare all humans who give us gold and praise.  If you not join us, then you die death of pain, blood and laughter.

Gronk!: Hail Gzoroth!!!

All: Hail Gzoroth!!!!


5. Are you guys in the process of making your full-length debut?

Hulg: Gogog always in process of making full-length debut.

All: *hideous laughter*

Gogog: Silence, Hulg.  I kill you.

Hulg: Already dead.

All: *more hideous laughter*

Gronk!: Yes, us make chants of kill giants.  Make immortal greatest of all stories, triumph of Orc over all.

Gogog: Our adventures of death, blood, and fire in Hirntodia; our defeat of the Giant Kings.  It called “concept album,” or something.

Cretos:  Some humans tell Cretos you have a prophet who told story like ours.

Gronk!:  Yes, one human worth sparing, but him dead few years ago.  Him called Gary Gygax.  Him write prophecy called “Against the Giants.”  Us did it.  We went against the giants and kill them all.

Hulg: Cracking bones, call of death, raven plucks evermore the eyeball of despair.

Cretos:  Uh...

6. Tell me about your writing process and what your lyrics consist of.

Cretos: Me start by writing epic shred guitar solo—

Gronk!: Me have Oog beat Gore-Stained Axe Tribe beat till trance comes. When trance comes, I commune with Gzoroth and him tell Gronk! What to chant.  Then we all chant together over and over until words stay in Gogog's head exactly as Gzoroth breathed them.

Gogog: Gronk! May need to chant words, but only Gogog hear melody.
Without Gogog there is no melody.

Cretos: Then after I record new epic shredding solo I put down my axe and pick up my sword.  Then Cretos arm two slaves, one with axe, one with sword, one with mace, one with club and the rest with spears and Cretos fight until death, relearning the fuckable rhythms of war

Hulg: Ineffable rhythms of war.

Cretos: Infuck yourself, zombie.  Cretos learn the unfuckable rhythms of war and make them scream through amplifier.

Hulg: Battle rhythms crunchy like fresh bones of the weak underneath iron shod foots of horse.  Crack, splinter, war never changes.

Gogog: Making an album is like making a whole war campaign. You do lots of boring shit trying to plan and organize and spy and guess and get headache and drink ale and make battle plans and split up into different groups and try to remember false plans not real plans for when mind readers flies into camp and then you get to battlefield and it all goes to Hell fuck the plan you just kills everybody and why the fuck did us waste time with all the planning shit instead of more drinking?

Oog Skullbasher: Oog drink now.


7. How about touring will you be hitting the road within the upcoming months?

Cretos: Carnage and desecration await the many roads the Blood Stained Axes will pound this hot season.  The battle wagon will destroy more of your puny human asphalt.

Gronk!: Do not your science wizards know that the rock roads will decay if you not cure them with dragon fire?

Gogog: Da Grimp says we’re raiding more places in your America than ever before, but it not tell us where yet.  Says negotiations are always tense and orcs just fuck things up if we knew.

8. Have you considered touring with Gwar, you guys do sound and look alike.

Hulg: Hulg is beautiful.  Slymenstra Hymen almost as beautiful.  Hulg like what Gwar did to Paris Hilton was  make her beautiful.

Gogog: A Band of Orcs will raid tours with almost any human band that does not suck.

Gronk!: Or bands that do suck.

Cretos: Yes, if you suck tour with orcs.  If you suck us'll kill you and eat you, but that just make tour better for everyone.

9. What bands inspire you to do what you do?

Gronk!: Slayer, Iron Maiden, Amon Amarth, Sepultura.

Gogog: Cryptopsy, Marduk, Super Happy Storytime Land, Machine Head.

Hulg: Morbid Angel, Immortal, Mayhem

Cretos: Cretos not have inspirations Cretos is inspiration for all other guitarists.

Oog: Oog smash.

Hulg: Hulg not like this question.  Think it insipid.

Gronk!: What that mean?

Hulg; It means orcs get asked this all the time and it gets turned into a game of trying to name the bands.

Gogog: Not tell them that.  They not need to know, except there are bad zombies and absolutely no pancreas.

10. You have to tell me about your attire, make-up, the whole nine yards that makes you who you are, where did you come up with the idea and this whole get up?

Gogog:  Gogog had uncle once.  He did not believe in armor.  Said Gzoroth spoke to him and screamed do not wear armor it only slow you down and you not dodge arrow.  When he come back the pieces were too small even to make hamburger.  Ever since then all orcs wear all armor us can find, usually on battlefield, but sometimes we raid blacksmith who actually make swords instead of just make pigs pregnant. Those were the good old days.

11."Into the Maelstrom", is the current video you have out what was the concept behind that and are there are follow-ups?



Gronk!: Us go to director Jess Byrden and say you write video that shows the world the awesome might of the orcen powers, the untold hordes that do only orc bidding, the way even the biggest of humans squirrels out of the way when the orc horde takes what it is. We say if Jess Byrden not do this, and do it in only 1 day, then he dies a death of pain that none have known since Rugen.  Him make magic picture good, but them him run away and us never find him again.  Next time us kill him even worse if him not make video.

Gogog: Follow-ups labeled NSFE, Not Safe for Earth.

Cretos: Next follow-up not a video, but a song.  Metal Underground released some tribute to some dead human.

Hulg: Peter Steele, elf for brains.

Cretos: Who fucking cares?  Us rewrote Green Man and made it the evil orc epic it was meant to be.

Gronk!: Why a song about orcs was not already evil Gronk! Will never know.  But now whole album is for download at metalunderground.com.  Only 3 of your paper dollars.

Gogog: Paper dollars worth less and less every day.  Soon be worth nothing.  Buy “All for None, None for All a tribute to Peter Steele” instead.  It never loses value.

12. What else is there to say to all of the fans that are out there?

Gogog: Gogog loves you.
Gronk!: Gogog is drunk.  Tomorrow Gogog will hate you.
Gogog: Yes, but then Gogog will get drunk again.
Cretos:  Orcs expect a lot from our minions.  Don't suck.
Gronk!: Go to abandoforcs.com to keep track of where the orcs are going to raid this hot season.  You not want to miss the show.  Also can buy T-Shirts, CD's and more!  Do it and us will let you live, not and you take your chances us just eat you on sight.

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